11 Robin Williams quotes

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

God gave you a penis and a brain, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer — you can do it, just not as well as the others, really.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.

I went to rehab in wine country, just to keep my options open.

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready."

Published: 12 Aug 2014