I live alone...

From the BBC Four recording of Numb

More Simon Amstell videos

Give It Up For Comic Relief
Live Review
Wembley Arena

Like so many things involving Russell Brand, Give It Up For Comic Relief was morally ambiguous.

The evening was raising funds for drug and alcohol addiction centres, yet seemed to be a veritable advert for consumption - from Noel Fielding’s tongue-in-cheek ‘Don’t Do Drugs’ reggae number, to Brand saying: ‘Many people watching this at home will be out of their minds on drugs, and that’s fine...’ Even unlikely narcotic advocate Simon Amstell, who needs little chemical help being paranoid or self-analytical,urged: ‘If you’ve never had magic mushrooms, you really must.’

How much of the pro-drugs message made it to BBC Three screens, I don’t know. But abstinence was not a popular option in Wembley Arena itself, which is odd considering the tie-in with Comic Relief. The skips full of drugs consumed by the likes of Noel Gallagher, Kasabian and Brand himself over the years are hardly likely to be Fair Trade, doing damage in the sort of Third World countries that the rest of the Comic Relief organisation works so hard to put right.

But such considerations were not for tonight. Brand wants a change in attitude to drug addiction so it’s akin to the approach to alcohol, that it’s fine to indulge as long as it’s not a dependency. That was one message of the night, the other was that viewers should text ‘give’ to 70005 and donate a fiver to treatment centres, as they watched the entertainment unfold.

And there was certainly a hell of a lot of entertainment for your £5... or £50 if you brought a ticket to the gig, which ran for three-and-a-half interval-free hours. OK, it’s not Mark Watson’s 25-hour effort of last week... but a long time to be passively viewing music and comedy. Wembley’s plastic seats weren’t built for that.

A ridiculously long running time is a hallmark of any big benefit, of course, as too is an eclectic booking policy, to maximise the appeal. There can’t be much Venn diagram overlap between fans of Kasabian and fans of Rizzle Kicks, but here they are sharing a bill. The former were the musical highlight, alongside Gallagher’s High Flying Birds , delivering a welcome reminder of just how impressive they can be with an awesomely epic version of Fire... which proved an entirely inappropriate introduction to Amstell’s low-key introspection.

Other musical acts on the bill were Emeli Sande, Paloma Faith, Jake Bugg, Jessie J and Nicole Scherzinger. The former Pussycat Doll rather gave away one reason for her involvement in the show by announcing the track Domino as: ‘This song is a positive, inspirational song. It’s also my next single.’

Besides the clumsy plug, surely you can’t tell people your own song is inspirational. I’ll decide what inspires me, and generic, club-friendly, R&B/pop sung by a girl in her pants, isn’t it.

As host, Brand warned against such ungenerous thoughts, pointing out that all the acts were performing for free. Throughout the night, he was playful about both the cause, and his own bad-boy reputation, from flirting with the girls to borrowing a female audience member’s mobile to demonstrate how to text a donation and suggesting: ‘This is the BBC and I’m playing with a phone. It’s already risky territory.’ Then turned to the woman and asked: ‘What’s your grandfather’s phone number?’

Later in the show Brand took a messianic walk among his followers in the audience, finding the most funny in banter with a young lad called Alfie, which he knew would never make the TV. ‘They’re not going to show a BBC presenter getting anywhere near a fucking kid,’ he said knowingly.

Brand was at his best, though, when padding for time from backstage as techies were setting up for bands, ad libbing like crazy yet consistently finding the funny. His banter with pal Fielding, especially, was priceless.

Fielding appeared on stage, uncredited, as hard-ass New York cop Raymond Boombox, delivering his ‘anti’-drug message, which might have been more weird than hilarious – an epitaph for much of his output – though it was entertaining watching people figure out who was behind the gaffer-tape ’tache.

He’d been preceded by Jack Whitehall, who seems to be channelling a lot of Michael McIntyre with his upper-middle-class observational incredulity. After something of a slow start, he found his pace with some material about bullying, an old and obvious gag about the campaigning wristbands notwithstanding.

Amstell injected a bold note of cynicism into proceedings. Reverting to his Pop World snidery, he questioned Jessie J’s motives in shaving her head for Red Nose Day – and even whether charity was the best way to combat the complicated problems of poverty. It was nicely contrary, but he could have used more time to expand, especially after dealing with the gear-change of following Kasabian.

After his tumultuous week at the hands of The Sun, Jason Manford delivered a solid but unspectacular observational set that probably won’t be remembered on such a packed night. Eddie Izzard was far more successful. Even if some of his initial flights of fancy into the topics of human sacrifices and Charles I’s reign didn’t quite land, his unique thought processes are always fascinating, and after padding around a while, he finally found the vein of wit, to use an entirely inappropriate metaphor.

Jimmy Carr did what Jimmy Carr does, pointed if unprincipled one-liners – some that he’s been doing for a while, and some new – accompanied by his distinctive heehaw laugh. He set a high gag-rate in the limited timeslot, and if he was setting the taste bar low, so Frankie Boyle could stomp it down through the ground.

‘I’m genuinely surprised to be here,’ he said, surely echoing the thoughts of many a BBC executive. And indeed, he was cut from the ‘almost-live’ broadcast after being brutally offensive with every perfectly-crafted line. Criticising the hypocrisy of Comic Relief while much of the West profits from Third-World strife might have touched a nerve, but it was an harsh anti-Queen setup that provoked the greatest boos of discontent among a surprisingly monarchist crowd. ‘A joke is just a proposition, a “what if”?’ he explained, as he’s probably quite used to doing. But it’s the quality of the punchlines that determine whether real offence is caused, and unlike most low-aiming wannabe shock comics, his sharp writing scores on that count.

Doc Brown, despite being the lowest-profile act on the bill, showed why he deserved to be there with a brief set featuring his boldly political comedy rap about poor tea-making technique, before the comedy was closed with John Bishop making reference to his own, more strenuous, fundraising efforts of last year. Despite spending most of his set doing the admin of emphasising the positive aspects of the night, it was Bishop, not Boyle, who caused the evening’s biggest controversy... by dissing Man Utd, since football is far more important than who rules Britain.

Still, if there was a Champions’ League for comedians, all of this line-up would be in it, ensuring the quality was maintained even if the viewer’s concentration ebbed and flowed over the long night.

Skip to page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

I just love Simon Amstell. I saw him in Brighton and thought he was truly fantastic. I never used to watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks because I found it a bit dull, but now it really appeals to me. I'm trying to think of another word that means funny or hilarious to emphasize how brilliant he was, but I can't think of one. One of my favourite comedians. Terrific! I totally agree with 'Ken'.

Nastassia, November 2006

Pure spun comedic gold

Ken, November 2006

I've always been a big Popworld fan & was so excited at the chance to see some "pure" Simon, he didn't disappoint.It was a cosy venue & Simon dealt well with the deaf old man who was reading a newspaper in the front row who was very vocal because the deaf loop wasn't on & walked out half way through. imon is very on the ball with his observations & take on life, hilarious! Totally value for money. I'm surprised at the amount of negative comments in this section, I fear Simon can be a little too subtle for some but thats what I love about him. Can't wait for the next tour!! Make it soon. Thank goodness for the Buzzcocks to tide me over for now! Give Simon his own stand up show!!

Self-Service Checkout, October 2006

Saw him last night at Bloomsbury. Actually rather hilarious! Didn't get enough time on stage.

Clemmie, October 2006

He is amazing! Everyone on the planet has to see him live. He is really witty and I was peeing myself throughout the entire show. He has so many stories to tell and is just so naturally hilarious. He also makes the entire audience feel really comfortable. Great show - I love him.

Nastassia Dhanraj, October 2006

Saw Simon at Leeds Festival this year, he provoked enough interest for me to look him up on here and made me laugh - I read below how his humour can not be fit enough for a longer set and having only seen him for a short half hour slot at leeds I can see how he could have easily run low on material as at the end it was clear his ideas were wearing thin. However his humour did keep me laughing through the set and was one of the better acts I saw all weekend on the comedy stage. He's worth watching if u can pick up a ticket at a comedy store appearance, however I'd hesitate still to buy a ticket for an exclusive show.. Great set ,lovely rapport.

Marcus W Shepperdson , August 2006

I want my money back. If I come and see you again I will ask you for it if you are still shit.

Dave Howard, July 2006

I thought he was pretty good when I saw him at BAC on Friday. I liked that he acknowledged that the show was in the development stages so would include a few misses as well as hits (or 'excusives' as Simon described them). However, I felt that the show was poor value for money. For £10, I'd expect more than a 45 minute set. Also, Simon was constantly referring to his notes which i found rather off putting. I understand that the show is a work in progress and hopefully will improve in time for Edinburgh, but I think it would be better if he either asked the venue to reduce the ticket price or simply played for free at a smaller venue.

Paul, July 2006

Skip to page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23