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Paul Zerdin: Puppet Master
Live Review
Hove The Old Market

Is ‘old-fashioned’ an pejorative term in comedy? It needn’t be – anything from Tim Vine to Boy With Tape On His Face have strong elements of tradition, and thrive because of it.

Yet in the case of Paul Zerdin, the ‘old fashioned’ tag sticks because his act seems so sterile, stuck in a world of Eighties variety shows with bland pub jokes based on universally understood archetypes.

Surprisingly, it’s not because his chosen art form – ventriloquism – is languishing in the aspic of the variety halls. Despite his crimes against comedy, America’s Jeff Dunham is one of the world’s biggest-earning comics thanks to his Achmed The Dead Terrorist doll; while at the other end of the artistic scale Nina Conti continues to explore her own psyche through her foam monkey. Meanwhile The Muppets (not quite the same thing, admittedly, but not far off) are back with a bang.

In Puppet Master, Zerdin makes a few attempts to update his act for the same century the rest of us are in, but he never quite seems to have the courage of his convictions, and it’s not long before we’re back at the Stardust Lounge in Rhyl Pontins, with the safe, safe patter.

He starts off excellently well; a baby in a carry-cot starts gurgling away, and Zerdin tries to quieten him, moving the cot around, causing the pitch and volume of his tentative cries to vary. It’s a great way of showcasing Zerdin’s undeniably technical talents, and as a set piece, its’ something a little unusual.

But once the tot is on the ventriloquist’s arm, we’re back in the familiar territory of vent-puppet banter. The infant is naïve, so gets Zerdin to explain the birds and the bees, yet when he describes the light-headed feelings of falling in love, the baby ‘jokes’: ‘Like being on drugs!’ as if he’d know.

I’m prepared to suspend my disbelief for a talking foam baby but could he at least have a consistent personality where he’s not aware of the affects of psychotropic drugs? Although it’s really the quality of the gag that’s the problem.

Then the baby ruins a bedtime story by repeatedly yelling the name of his favourite animal: ‘Duck! Duck!’ which the more astute observer may have noted has another meaning. Cue cheap slapstick.

Then comes Zerdin’s most established character, Sam, a precocious boy who sounds remarkably like the baby – a surprise since Zerdin shows an impressive vocal range elsewhere. They bicker a bit, the doll insults the audience, and just when something interesting threatens to happen – when Sam and his controller swap voices – the segment evaporates into nothing.

The jokes and backchat are from the history books. ‘You’re seeing a psychiatrist? You need your head examined!’ Or: ‘I can be funny without a puppet!’/’You can’t be funny WITH a puppet.’ The biggest insult Sam can think to throw at his master is that he’s gay, and Zerdin proves his not by saying he doesn’t like Wizard Of Oz or musical theatre and his favourite colour is blue, not pink. What a rounded, enlightened view…

Never is the rickety state of the comedy more apparent than in Zerdin’s next ‘age-of-man’ puppet the pensioner Albert. He does a big shaggy-dog gag about an unloseable hearing aid, which has been around for decades – although it was about a golf ball when I first heard it. It’s as if this script has been cobbled together after googling the word ‘jokes’.

Zerdin’s finale is, however, an extremely funny take on his crafts. He rigs up a couple of artificial jaws on to two audience volunteers, and works them like his dolls, getting them to say things like: ‘I think I’m going to dance now…’ as panic spreads across the victim’s eyes. The couple he selected tonight in Hove were brilliantly game, and Zerdin’s adept at teasing them into doing his bidding, ending on a real high.

This is a prime example of how old-fashioned bit of business can be spruced up for a modern audience; but for the rest of the show, old jokes and older attitudes just don’t cut it. Zerdin’s a personable, slick entertainer, but too often seems struggling to keep up with the times.

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I almost wet myself. I did actually cry with laughter - he was fantastic

Sarah, June 2003

Saw Paul Zerdin at Jongleurs Birmingham, I laughed so hard my head hurt and then I laughed some more. He is simply fantastic.

Gokay, May 2003

Paul Zerdin is the most skilled ventriloquist on the earth, I saw him perform on the Royal Variey Show and I thought it was hilarious

Tom, April 2003

We saw Paul Zerdin on the Royal Variety Performance and thought he was fantastic. We've watched it so many times that we can quite literally quote the whole thing. Paul and his characters are truly hilarious- its side splitting stuff.

[Anon], March 2003

I saw Paul Zerdin at two shows in Blackpool and they were both absolutly hilarious. I enjoyed them so much I even tried ventriloquism myself and suprisingly I succeded in it now I even do shows in school.

Thomas Garvey, March 2003

There is nobody better than him, he is fantastic, entertaining for all the family to watch, good choice of props and puppets.

Mandy, January 2003

I saw Paul Zerdin on Today with Des and Mel because I was sick and didn't go to school. He was really funny with Albert and the baby

years old, January 2003

I saw Paul on the 2002 Royal Variety show and have watched it over and over again, killing myself laughing! Paul is exceptionally good, witty, funny, sharp AND attractive - the perfect package.

[Anon], January 2003

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