Hugh Dennis: How MI5 approached me to be a spy
Hugh Dennis might have had a small role in the Bond film No Time to Die – but he could have ended up as a real spy.
The comedian has recalled how he was approached by MI5 when he was a Cambridge student and even went to an interview - but turned them down.
He said: ‘It was a rather different world, now you apply for jobs in MI5, you actually have to go reply to adverts and things.
‘But in that time, this was like the mid 80s, I suppose you got approached by your tutor or whoever. There was obviously a network of people who were asking, and I was approached, and I went down because, again, you think it's slightly flattering, don't you?
‘Or you're thinking that'd be interesting, I wonder what an interview for that will be like.
‘So, I went down, and I had this interview at the end of which I thought, this really isn't me I don’t think. On the one hand, it is flattering to be approached because you think, "Oh, I wonder what they’ve seen in me".
‘But then on the other hand, spying isn't being James Bond. Spying, as far as I could see, was about disappearing into a crowd and no one ever really noticing you, and I think deep inside me, I thought, no, actually, I want to be noticed; I think I need another kind of career where I can be noticed.
‘It was never a serious thing, but I went, just to see what it was really like. It's amazing that was the system, though, isn't it?’
The Outnumbered and Mock The Week star first revealed the approach in 2016, but these comments came to Kate Thornton on her podcast White Wine Question Time.
He also spoke about getting cast in the 007 film, even though he doesn’t know how it came about. But he said Phoebe Waller-Bridge, one of the film’s writers and who had previously cast him as the bank manager in Fleabag, had denied putting his name forward
adding: 'She told me that she hadn’t, but I don't know. I was on a list somewhere of comedians that could act vaguely, I suppose. I don't know, I really don't know how it came about, but I'm delighted that it did come about.’
Dennis said he wasn’t on set for long ‘because all I've got to do is hand over the secret that threatens the world and then get shot in the head.
‘I think we did three [days], but one of them was a practice day where I was in a large shed next to the sets. They couldn't decide whether I was going to be shot in the head or shot in the chest, but they did know I was going to be shot, so I had to practice different types of death so that I was ready when it came to it.
‘You do it with the stunt coordinator who will say if you're shot in the chest, you're going to fall backwards slightly, but if you're shot in the head, it's like having the light switched off. So, if you're shot in the head, you just go straight down, you're not even aware it's happened to you, and you collapse vertically. We had to practice a lot of that,
‘Probably one of the finest moments of my life, I think, was when this happened; it was a head shot in the end, although you never saw it, so all this was pointless.
‘ The stunt coordinator was watching the scene, I get shot in the head, I go down vertically, they shout cut, and he was an incredibly cool Frenchman, this stunt coordinator. He came up to me and he tapped me on the shoulder, and he went, "good death".’
Dennis also spoke of another surreal experience – hosting Top Of The Pops.
‘I still find it amazing to think that this ever happened,’ he said. ‘For one week only, Steve Punt and I presented Top of the Pops. I can't think of anybody less likely to present Top of the Pops, but we did it just one week.
‘It was amazing, it was a period when they suddenly decided that they needed the presenters to be slightly more funny. We did a week, I think Jo Brand and Jack Dee did a week, Angus Deayton did a week. On our week, the number one was Whigfield.
‘But, on the same show, INXS were on, and I found myself sitting next to Michael Hutchence in makeup. I was dressed as this character I played on the Mary Whitehouse Experience called Mr Strange, whose main characteristic was that he was obsessed by milk.
‘I was sitting there in this makeup chair next to Michael Hutchence and we didn't really talk very much, we nodded politely to each other and said hello.
’As far as I could work out, he was on a mobile phone for much of the time, and he seemed to be buying a ranch in Montana.
'I've never felt like more of an idiot. It was like I was a comedian with a revolving bowtie and flashing red nose, sitting next to this rock god in makeup and on the same show. So embarrassing.
‘On the same show was Cyndi Lauper, and then top of the bill was Elton John. All in the same week on Top of the Pops, presented by me and Steve.’
• Kate Thornton’s White Wine Question Time is available on all podcast platforms. Hugh Dennis and Steve Punt are on tour from later this month.
Published: 12 Apr 2024
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Products
DVD (2011)
Jasper Carrott: Canned Carrott Vol.1
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Outnumbered Series 3
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Mock The Week: Too Hot ForTV
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